The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
My breasts were aching with rage.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
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