Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
if only i could text you this smell
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize