my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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