hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
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