i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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