Do vagina's smell?
i wish my penis had a tongue
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
