Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
