We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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