So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
We need to rekindle our bromance
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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