So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
