Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
im so drunk with asians
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
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Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
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Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"