Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
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I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
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you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.