with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.