Swine flu. Run for my life!
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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