can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
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So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
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All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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