overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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