Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
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