and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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