So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
