We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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