I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
