I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
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And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
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Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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