Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize