it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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