Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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