OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"