her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
