My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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