Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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