We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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