the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
