Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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