she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize