Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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