I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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