Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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