he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize