So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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