Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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