don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
We have started to decorate penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize