Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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