Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
