wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
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He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
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I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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