SEEEEXXX PLEASE
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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