I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize