I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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