Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
