im about as happy as oj after his trial
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
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