I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize