Screwed.edu
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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