so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize