when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
and she was petting her beer can
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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